for better or worse

Its been months but it only seems like yesterday that they walked out of each other’s lives  and started taking the journey by themselves, why it took them so long to see it they also did not understand. They however know how it all started, the unanswered calls,  ignored messages, i’m working late, late nights. The signs were always there but they didn’t have the courage to admit it to each other and so they just went on business as usual but in actual sense, it wasn’t business as usual at all. It was an easier way of handling the outcome instead of finding ways to pacify the situation.

Or maybe it was the emotional cheating that both of them were indulging in and they felt safer not acknowledging that the gap between them had grown over the months. So here they are on what seems like a coffee date but there is not much to share simply because the connection is no longer there.  A simple dialogue is difficult to keep up with, from the usual pleasantries, there seems nothing else to talk about  and by the time the coffee is served they sip their cups with very minimal dialogue. If one didn’t know better , it is almost as if its easier to bond with the coffee than with each other.

Truth be told, we are all human and we are bound to get tired of the same routine with the same old results and most often than not, we don’t want to try out anything new because it is too much work, but most often than not it is because we are tired and we no longer care about the other person.

Back to the coffee date which was over before it started because no one wants to initiate any conversation, no one wants to talk about the big elephant in the room because its easier to leave the situation as it is.Funny thing is, it is easier to start another relationship with a new individual, endless chats, messages and phone calls , lunch dates, coffee dates and meet ups. A new relationship is easier  because self gratification is more important nowadays  rather than make the relationship work. So the  endless hours of conversation with the new girl, the new man that you do not want known by your “boyfriend, girlfriend” to know about are what is making you look forward to the next time you will open your eyes, from the sexy messages that you were talking about last night , to how you were talking about what both of you are looking forward to in the next five years. Conversations that you had both previously had with your significant other but because the flame seems to have gone off, you are doing it all over again with a new individual.

It all looks harmless when you start , I mean after all, its just chats, lunches and diner nothing much, I mean we are not having sex after all. Funny thing not all relationships are about sex and physical gratification and attraction. Others are about emotional connecting, letting a person know you from deep within and you do the same, having a connection and a foundation that you both deliberately cultivated and are continuously ensuring that it stays that way despite the ups and downs. As much as that is a fairly tale that we all want to enjoy, at times it does not happen and most often than not, we find ourselves tired because we are the only ones who are doing the propelling of the ignition to ensure that the boat is staying afloat and hence we get tired and eventually stop trying and pick up a new habit or worse still stop checking in and we grow from the perfect match to total strangers.

And that is how we switch from love birds to total strangers who once knew each other but because we got too comfortable we forgot that in relationships, you never stop the pursuing, its an everyday thing. Just because you have her or him does not mean that you stop there. You have to continually make them feel special. Continue doing what you used to do during the pursuing, go out on dates, picnics, go for a drive, travel together, continue spending time together and keep exploring each other and ensure that the fire is still burning.

Dynamics of relationships are many and they all have their complexities however, why not make your relationship work. Get out of the comfort zone, go the extra mile and make something beautiful together, do not do the norm, dare to be different and while you’re different, write your own love story and let it end differently.

Amour Language