In our current generation being, a ”side chic” seems to be globally accepted nowadays compared to the time of our parents and grandparents. Ultimately, no one wants to settle for less and if care is not taken, the main chic can become a side chic. It’s easy to assume that you are the main chick because some men – maybe your man, too – have perfected the dark art of deceit. So you go ahead in your little happy world loving him exclusively. You remain in that warm cocoon filled with phoney promises and half-truths.
We don’t condone having or being a side chick, but the fact of the matter is that it happens. Not everyone can be the starter all the time, so some ladies end up settling into their role as a back-up, regardless of their intentions.
Just because you don’t know you’re a side chick doesn’t mean you’re not, but there are a lot of red flags you can look for if you suspect to be one.
1. Limited time with you
Does he come up with all sorts of excuses to not spend special moments with you?
Special days like Christmas, new-year, even Valentine’s. should make you a lot more suspicious if he refuses to spend it with you. These are the most difficult days to excuse himself from when you’re in a serious, exclusive relationship.
So if he’s regularly coming up with excuses to miss all of these days, well, chances are that he needs to be with the real one or the main chic. Stay vigilant on such behaviour from your partner.No matter how well he treats you, you serve as a distraction from whatever commitment he already made to another woman.
2. He always has his phone on him.
For one thing, if you were really relationship material in his eyes, he probably wouldn’t be glued to his phone all the time even when you are spending time together. You can tell something is a miss.
There’s probably something going on if he won’t let you look at his phone. Beyond that, you’re probably a side chick if you text all the time but never talk on the phone or if he has you saved under a fake name its very fishy. You are not allowed to call him as you wish e.g video calls and voice calls but he can reach you when he wants. Don’t ignore it. Men who are players tend to be highly protective of their phones. He has a password on his phone and makes sure to lock it after every time he uses it.
Is he deleting call history, changing passwords frequently, guarding his phone like a security dog? Stay Woke.
There’s a chance that you’re likely the side chick.
3. He Will Ghost On You Sometimes
If you are not your man’s main chick, he will always ghost on you. He could stay for days without calling you but call you when he needs you. You rarely get a text from him during the evening hours, and if you do, it’s super late at night. When he says he will call you back soon, he doesn’t call you until a few days later. All clear signs that he has a main chick and you aren’t the one. That makes his life a lot easier and lessens his chances of being caught red-handed.
4. Nothing ever randomly happens
You’re never able to randomly get in contact with him. Random and unplanned meet-ups for lunch are absolutely out of the question. Nothing can ever happen last minute but instead, it has to be planned, sometimes weeks in advanced. This is usually because your guy has to not only set aside time for you, but he has to make up lies to tell his main chick.
Even if you cancel at the very last minute, this guy isn’t even the least bit angry or concerned. Most guys get a bit angry when a girl cancels on them, but not this man. Instead, he accepts it and almost seems a bit relieved by it.
5. You’ve never met his friends or parents
Most men who are proud and happy with their relationship will eventually introduce their girlfriend to his parents and his friends. If you have never met, let alone spoken to his parents or friends, this is a huge sign that you can’t be known amongst his inner circles.
While we can all appreciate a man’s low-key spirit, we can also agree that it’s a bit unusual, even suspicious to love a whole woman for about six months to a year without anyone knowing about you.
If he’s not introducing you to his world – real or virtual – there’s every need to question that man and his intentions.
6. He cancels a lot
Weeks ago you two planned a date at a posh restaurant or baecation, but just the other day, he had to cancel immediately. A true sign that you’re the side chick is when a guy continuously and randomly has to cancel spending time with you. When his main chick is in the picture, he, of course, has to put her first, so your planned time together is more of a back-up plan.
You are his back-up in everything.
7. He rarely spends the night
Even after a fun night together, this man will rarely spend the entire night with you. Sleeping over almost never happens and when it does, he has to leave at the most random times and he will act uneasy all through.
Mostly, he absolutely refuses to fall asleep at your house. More than likely this is because he knows he has to get back home to be with his main chick, who is probably expecting him home after a “guys night out,” or whatever excuse he lied to her.
8. Your relationship is mostly physical
When he compliments you, it’s about how nice your body is or how you drive him crazy in bed. When you are together, it usually ends up between the sheets. He doesn’t spend any quality time with you unless it’s sexual. When a guy refuses to connect with you on a mental or emotional level, it could be because he’s already connected that way with his main woman.
9. You don’t go to many public places
When you two go on dates, it’s either in another town or city, some small local place like a pub or food joint, or it’s at your house. This is because he doesn’t want to get caught with you in public by someone he knows, perhaps a friend or coworker. Chances are when you are hanging out in a public area, he doesn’t hold your hand nor does he show you a lot of public affection.
10. He never talks about the future
Asking him about his views on the future of your relationship is like walking on eggshells. Very risky. In other words, this guy doesn’t want to think or discuss the future because there isn’t one after all. If you are not his forever, why plan a future with you?
Most likely, if your intuition is telling you that you are the side chick, don’t ignore the signs if you choose to stay, you are bound to be in a cycle of heartaches and disappointments and if you leave, you might meet the man who will make you his one and only woman. Stay woke.