There is no single day that I do not think about you and wish that you were here. Your mother still struggles with your absence. She is always in your room, going through your clothes, toys and books just to have a feel of you. I am not sure when she will completely heal; at times I think she might never heal. She misses you and I am sure she could switch places with you even just for a second. My baby girl, dad loves you so much and every day I am torn apart with the fact that you are no longer with us. My heart is still sore from the pain of that fateful day when I was told that we cannot take you home.
I know that society expects men to be strong and hold the family together but truth is, your dad is torn into pieces and every day he struggles just to get by. Mia Moore, I had so much planned for you and when you were abruptly taken away from us, a part of me left with you. Every day I struggle to come to terms with your demise and I wish the pain can go away. Some days I do not even want to leave the house but your mother and siblings have needs and as their dad, I have to provide. Mia moore, do not get me wrong, daddy is not depressed, he just has a lot on his plate and he does not know where to turn to. Your mother has been the best support system, but she too needs someone to help her process all her emotions.
Are you happy where you are? Is the place beautiful?
Kira, I had so much planned for you and I do not know where to even start. Remember your first day in kindergarten? When you were too scared to let go of my hand and daddy had to walk with you to class and sit with you for a full day? I wish you heard your mother that evening going on and on about how I should let you grow up. Kira, ours was and still is a special bond. Your mother finally understood it that weekend when you hurt your arm learning swimming. She called me in a panic going on and on about your arm. I appreciate her so much and this few months she has let me mourn you in my own way. You are a princess and as your queen, I sure I’m proud of both of you.
Her birthday is coming up, what do you think I should get her? As you think about that let me tell you something I started doing after we discovered we were pregnant with you. Nine months prior to your birth, every day I would spend an hour in the war room, praying over and for you. Carefully listing all the things that I had planned for you and asking God to bless us as a family. As I write this to you, I smile because God did hear my prayers and answered me. He indeed blessed us with you and even now that you are no longer here I still pray for you and your siblings.
Kira, I may not have all the answers, but thank you for being daddy’s little princess. Thank you for teaching me how to be the best dad; to ensure that you are well provided for and that you have a smile on your face. I will not walk you down the aisle but I know that you received the best welcome when you got to heaven. For teaching me that it is okay to cry and it is okay to watch cartoons, thank you. Your mum is amazed at how good I am with video games. I tell her that’s the only way you would finish your meal.
I will take mum out for dinner and let her pick anything on the menu as long as she finishes her entire plate.
I love you princess; continue resting with the angels and say hi to grandma for me.