I’m no relationship expert or anything, but being a shy guy for most of my life, I think I have some authority over this area since I managed to somehow go out on majorly successful dates.
There are very many things to talk about on a first date especially if you’re fortunate enough to not be shy. But for some men out there, who are naturally shy or just don’t know what to say on a first date, here’s my take on this topic.
This article will have a bias on shy men but it can be applied even to those who just don’t know what to say in spite of not being shy or even to women.
If you’re a shy guy, you need to set up your conversation way in advance. This means meticulously planning every aspect of the date to make sure it goes according to plan. You want to be very careful with the location of the first date. I would advise an activity-based date. You can never run out of things to say.
If you set up your date at, say, a hotel. You’ll have a slightly harder time coming up with something to talk about compared to someone who sets their date up in a zip lining joint. The beauty of an activity-based date is that when you ran out of things to talk about, you can talk about the activity itself or its surroundings.
Some times, however, even after meticulously planning your date, and this is 90% of the time. Things won’t go as planned. So here are some things you can talk about.
Of course, there are the basics, if you don’t know your date properly. You would want to ask where they went to school, how their high school experience was like. Maybe their favourite functions. How far they went in extracurricular activities back in high school. I can assure you, many people have a lot of stories to tell when it comes to their high school experience, it just depends on how well you introduce the topic.
Talk about what they’re doing now with their life. For a first date, you don’t want to go too deep into why they’re doing what they’re doing. Just find out what they’re doing. How much they like it. How long they see themselves doing it. What they aspire to do in future and something along those lines. This is also a gold mine because everyone is doing something with their life. Even those people who apparently seem to be doing nothing are doing something by choosing nothing. You want to figure this out. Explore the topic and maybe relate your experience with what they’re doing and if you’re truly interested, you can offer to learn more about this topic from them.
Tell them what you’re doing with your life. Some people like talking about themselves, others like hearing about others. So you want to jump in here and there to tell them what you’re doing with your life. I hope your life isn’t that boring. Because if you’re living a boring life, it will be a boring topic to talk about. They also want to know something about you, so make sure you put yourself out there in your best light while still staying true to who you are.
Talk about the environment around you. You would be surprised by how many things go on around you if you just took the time to pay attention to your environment. Depending on where you are, look for the most interesting thing and comment on it or ask her what she thinks about it. Such a simple step might open the door to a much lengthier conversation considering it’s not constrained to just that environment. Especially if you comment about an experience and not a person or things.
In spite of the few tips offered above, you might forget all of them on the material day of your date. The most important thing to remember is to be yourself. Whenever a thought pops up in your head about something, let it manifest completely into the real world by speaking it out loud to your date. Provided it’s sensible, of course. Because sometimes we tend to overthink things and fail to realize that the person sitting across from us may very well be as crazy or crazier than we are ourselves.
These are just some of the things that help me get through a date considering I’m a pretty shy guy myself. I hope these will help you in your struggles as well.